


End Of All Days

by EliDeetz



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Drabble Series, F/M, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Oral Sex, Please don't read if you aren't comfortable with dubious con, Porn with Plot-ish, Rape/Non-con Elements, Vaginal Fingering
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-06
Updated: 2018-07-10
Packaged: 2019-03-14 18:48:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 8
Words: 7,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13596165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EliDeetz/pseuds/EliDeetz
Summary: There was something odd, about him.Something strange, and new.





	1. Chapter 1

There was something odd, about him.

Something strange, and new.  

Sam and Dean had always found him annoying, which is why they paid no mind to how different he was now. It was barely there, almost impossible to notice. A simple change in the way he carried himself, how his mouth quirked, how his gaze penetrated through her.  

Hard, almost impossible to see. But she had.  

So far, he hadn’t done anything strange enough to take matters into her own hands. She knew it would be hard to convince the boys without that, and with Castiel gone, there was no one on her side.  

The only thing left for her to do was pray. Pray for a stronger sign, tangible evidence, for Castiel to come around. For something,  _anything._  Faith was all she had.

That, and an angel blade at the edge of her bed.

She was afraid, and alone. That was the biggest red flag of them all. Those feelings were put away for good when she met him. It was inevitable to know something was wrong when they came back, stronger than ever.

Her room was guarded with many sigils to keep any kind of celestial force away. That way she could pray in peace,  _think_  freely, knowing he wasn’t going to be able to listen at all.

The night was cold, and her knees ached from holding all her weight against the bunker’s hard floor.

“Cas, please. Help me, something’s wrong with him,” she whispered, her hands tightly together as she prayed. “Come back, I need you to see. You’re the only one who can show the guys, they won’t believe me.”  

Once again, silence was the only reply.  

Alone. She was alone.

“That’s not gonna get you anywhere.”

And afraid.

She stood from the floor in a quick movement, her eyes darting towards the blade, which was too far from her reach. Meanwhile, he was calmly seated on her desk, leaning back with a smirk on his face. The smirk was crooked, and disturbing, like nothing she’d seen before in him.

“Like what you’ve done to the room,” he said in a low voice, sending shivers down her spine. “Useless, but cute. You tried.”

What could she do? How did he managed to get in? She wondered, every question slapping her across the face as she tried to remain composed.  

“Do you ever shut the fuck up?” He asked annoyingly.

_Who_  was this person in front of her?

An exasperated sigh left his chest, as he stood up to shorten the distance between them. The girl tried to do the contrary, but the back of her legs quickly met the edge of her bed. She wanted to avoid making any alarming movement, so she remained in her spot, trembling like never before.

“Gotta give it to ya, you’re a smart one.” The stranger spoke, a dark light on his eyes. “You noticed since the first moment… I knew you would. I’ve always expected so much from you.”

“What did you do to him?” She inquired in a desperate tone, feeling a wave of bravado overcoming her.

His brows almost raised to the top of his head, the smirk erasing from his features. “What makes you think  _I’m_  not  _me_?”

A furrow tampered her forehead, not being able to process what he tried to say.  

“People change, sugar. Sometimes for good, sometimes for bad.” He was now at arm’s length of her, deeply staring into her. Suddenly, his eyes blackened.

Completely.  

“Sometimes for the better…” He continued, smiling crookedly.  

All the oxygen in her lungs was pressed away. She wanted to cry, run, scream. Instead she froze, as she tried her best to remember how to breathe again.  

“Gabriel…” Was the only thing that left her mouth in a shaky breath.  

“You wanna know what the best part about this is?” Gabriel stepped even closer, their noses about to touch. “The only reason you’re not dead yet, it’s because what I feel only became more primal. So, at least… _I’m_  gonna have some fun beforehand.”  


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Writing style changes from the third person to second.

He shoved you against the wall with a strong force, like he never had before. It was as unsettling, as it was oddly arousing.  

There was an internal battle inside you, really.  

Despite the deep black that was on his eyes, and the crooked grin on his lips, it was _still_  Gabriel. He said it himself, it was him.

He pinned your hands above you, and brushed his nose on the crook of your neck, taking a deep breath in as he did so.  

“You’re scared….” he growled, you felt how he licked his lips right after.

“Gabriel, please don’t-” your breath hitched, for he bit your lobe without a warning. His tongue traveled from your ear all the way down to your chest, where he bit your skin once more.

“Relax a bit, would ya’? I’m not gonna hurt you… too much,” he said in a low voice, staring directly into your eyes. “Don’t forget the one I used to be was madly in love with you.”

Your eyes widened at his confession, and your knees weakened momentarily. A knot began to form in your throat, tears blurred your vision the next moment.

“Like I said, I won’t hurt you. I’ll just be more ballsy, and make you mine,  _now.”_  He explained, nipping your quivering lip. “Now, don’t cry, **behave** , and let yourself enjoy it. You can scream though, no one will hear you.”

You moved your head side to side, wishing it was just a nightmare, or some fucked up prank.  

But it wasn’t.

Your heart beat rapidly, making you think it would probably leap out of your ribcage at any moment. Gabriel’s eyes met yours once again, and you could see his golden orbs momentarily.

“Soon you’ll be begging for it.” The ghost of his playful smile was the last thing you saw, as you closed your eyes, wishing it was just Gabriel.  

 _Your_  Gabriel.


	3. Chapter 3

Your heavy breathing was the only sound in the room, as you tightly gripped Gabriel’s golden locks. His head was buried deep between your legs, as he licked and sucked every inch of your core.  

There was a part of you that could not think straight, while the other kept on trying to figure out what  _the hell_  was happening. Just a couple weeks ago, you were both laying on the couch watching cheesy horror flicks. Today, the one in the horror flick was  _you_.  

A bit on the skin in your thigh made you jump, letting you know he was listening to everything that was going on inside of you.  

“That’s never coming back, the sooner you let it go the better,” he advised, a mocking grin pulling his wet lips.  

“I…  _ah_ –” he didn’t allow you to continue, for he shoved two fingers inside you before anything else left your lips.  

He curled them up, hitting a spot that caused you to raise your hips from the mattress. It felt so strange, to be in that situation. It wasn’t like you hadn’t pictured it though, since you’d been crushing over him for a long time now.  

If you only had said something sooner.  

His thumb harshly pressed your clitoris, while he moved the fingers inside you. “I said, _stop thinking about that._ ” His voice was low and guttural, sending a violent shiver down your spine.  

The loud drumming of your heart deafened you, and you took advantage of it to focus your attention on it instead. Gabriel’s abilities allowed you to let yourself slip into a different place of your mind, simply concentrating on the pleasure he was giving you.

“ **Good girl** ,” he muttered, going down to eat you up once more.


	4. Chapter 4

It was late at night, but you were still awake, resting your head on the cold material of the kitchen counter.

Lately, sleep couldn’t seem to find its way to you. Whenever you closed your eyes, the memories of what’d happened just a couple days ago tormented you.  

Like a bucket of ice-cold water, the feeling of his skin against yours sent shudders throughout your whole body. The deep black holes that were once his pure amber eyes unsettled you, depriving yourself from rest.  

Slowly, you traced the hickeys on your thighs with the tips of your fingertips, remembering how incredibly sexy he looked down there. It was nearly impossible to you not to feel aroused by him.

You berated yourself for thinking like that, instead of focusing in finding a way of  _fixing_  Gabriel.

Being so deep in your own thoughts blocked the sound he made once he appeared on the entrance of the kitchen. He leaned against the door frame, simply watching you sulking. Your upper body rested horizontally on the counter, while your hips swayed.

He bit his lip as he silently walked over behind you. With a sudden movement, he pressed his crotch against your rear, and placed both hands on your sides to pin you down.

“You should be in your room,” he whispered on your ear.

His sudden appearance caused you to start sweating cold, it was the second time you’ve seen each other since the reveal of his darkened grace.

If it could still be called that.

“I – I…” you stuttered, not really knowing what to say.  

“Although it’s perfectly fine for me to fuck you right here in the kitchen. I wonder how things would go down if dumb and dumber find us here.” His lips were on your lobe again, then your neck, your back, and he began to rub his erection against your ass.  

There was a moment where you could swear feeling his dick twitching through his thick jeans.

One of his hands traveled from your side to the inside of your sweatpants, and your panties. Expert fingers began to tease, the wetness of you allowed him to immediately place them inside you.

A loud moan left your mouth, as you squirmed beneath him desperately.

“ **Already?** ” He laughed, “ **do I really have that much of an effect on you?** ”  

You simply whimpered at his touch, closing your eyes and biting the inside of your cheek to avoid any other sound coming out.

It painted to be another sleepless night.


	5. Chapter 5

Your hand trembled as you raised it to knock on the motel’s room door. Before you did, you took a second to contemplate what you were about to do.

When you asked him to meet you in order to talk, he only agreed as long as it was somewhere far away from the bunker. No one knew where you were, nor with who. That should’ve made you rethink your decision.  

But it didn’t, you  _had_  to get to the bottom of this.

“It’s open.” He said before you could knock.

You could feel your heart dropping down to your stomach, and a sick feeling coming up your throat. Yet you had to be strong, for him.  

The  _real_  him.  

The first thing you saw was Gabriel sitting at the corner of the room, only the light of the lamp beside him illuminating half of his face. A shiver went down your spine at the sight of him almost automatically, which didn’t go unnoticed by him.  

“Eager, are we?” He laughed at you, standing from his seat right after. “What do you want? And make it quick, I have somewhere to be.”

“I want to… I want to talk, Gabriel. I want to know what happened.” You tried your best so your voice wouldn’t crack, but it was difficult, since the memories of your last encounters with him were drilling holes in your brain.  

Gabriel squinted, tilting his head to the side as if you’d said something in foreign language. “Bullshit.” He spat, almost causing you to jump in response.

A confused look was all you gave him, for you couldn’t quite understand what you’d said wrong.  

“You didn’t come all the way out here to see what happened to me, not when you can try to figure it out with Castiel or the stupid Winchesters.” Gabriel explained, now walking in circles around you, like a predator trying to intimidate its prey.

Before anything else left your mouth, you felt a strong force shoving you down to the bed in the opposite side of the room, while Gabriel walked over to look down on you. Your eyes met his golden-colored ones, and they began to darken from the pupil to the sclera, making you start to tremble with fear.

“Do yourself a favor, sugar.  **Why don’t you tell me why you _really_  came here tonight,** hmm?” He smiled, but it was crooked, and strange. “If you can’t resist me you just have to say it. I’m really enjoying seeing you trying to resist the pleasure I’ve been giving you this past couple of times.”  

Tears began to run down your eyes, and whimpers came out instead of words. You were tired, so tired of being so weak against him.

“No, no. No tears, don’t fucking try me right now, I am  _not_  in the mood for your tears.” He warned, clenching his jaw as you kept on crying.

Stopping seemed impossible, there was a battle inside you, stronger and harder than you’d ever fought before.  

Then something strange happened.  

Gabriel flinched, and shut his eyes close, while rubbing his face desperately. The force pinning you down disappeared, and you sat up on the bed, curiously watching him struggle to remain composed. When his eyes finally met yours, they shone golden again.

The way he looked at you, seemed different. Because he looked like his usual self, the one he was  _before_  your nightmare started.

“Fuck,” he grunted, his face deforming as he pulled his hair. “Fucking tears.” With a snap of his fingers, he was gone.

What the hell happened?


	6. Chapter 6

Of all the places you thought you would end up asking for help in,   was nowhere near the list.  Needham was far from home, from the guys, from Castiel…. And hopefully, away from Gabriel. 

Surprisingly, hadn’t followed you. In fact, the last time you’d seen him was eighteen days ago, when you asked him to meet up with you in that motel room. Maybe he was getting bored of you, maybe Rowena’s hex bag, which you’d begged her for it in tears, had worked. 

Maybe he was as freaked out as you because of what had happened.

That night was as frightening as it was confusing. Every detail of that encounter was seared into your brain, even more so fervently than the ones before. The way he hesitated, the way that he, for once, didn’t take what he wanted. You especially couldn’t help replaying the way his pitch-black eyes melted into that beautiful golden hue that you loved so much.

Something happened to him, something that  _could_ be fixed. That’s what you hoped, at least.

Which was exactly why you’d ended up at  _his_ doorstep. Whether he would help you or not was still uncertain, since he appeared to be a friend of the Winchesters, not yours. 

After lingering outside the building for far too long, you finally found the strength and drive to venture inside. The only thought in your mind, was finding help for Gabriel.

“Well... I am quite confused as to why you’d decided to dance into my humble abode as if you’re welcomed to do so.” Crowley’s voice dripped with annoyance and a hint of sass.

He leaned against his chair, resting his head on his right hand, and staring at you with the most uninterested look you’d ever seen in his face.

“I need your help,” you explained, trying not to move too abruptly, in an attempt to keep his minions at ease. “Please, I don’t think anyone but you could help me now.”

One of his brows raised at your words, and for a moment, he seemed interested. “What is it, dove?” He asked, his previous expression turning bored once more.

“It’s…” You hesitated to respond, wondering if it was a good idea to explain there was, yet another, fallen archangel roaming the earth. “I rather tell you in private.”

The king of hell remained quiet, and so did his subordinates. He gave a thought to your words, and finally gave a small nod. Without a word, the demons left the room, leaving only you and the king. 

“It’s about Gabe --”

Crowley raised a hand up in the air, which you took as a cue to stop talking. “Before you go on about this problem of yours you wish for me to fix… I’d like to know what’s in it for me.”

You frowned, and then considered slapping yourself in the face for not taking into account he would ask for something in exchange for his help. 

There was another silence, this one was uncomfortable and tense. You rattled your head trying to come up with something to offer. But you were tired,  _exhausted_ of people taking stuff from you.

First, monsters had taken your family, then John took your childhood with his  _family business_ . Growing up, the hunting life had taken more family members, friends, lovers, whatever opportunity there was of a normal life. You knew you were done when the apocalypse took Gabriel from you, but then he came back to take away your sanity, your dignity, your will.

You’ve had enough, and it was then, with Crowley’s words and his intent to take  _more_ from you, that finally made you snap.

“Nothing, nothing is in it for you.” The words came out loud and harshly, unlike anything you’d said before. “You’re going to help me, and that’s the end of it.”

He seemed taken aback with your words, and sat straighter on his throne. Everything about his energy changed, and what had been a slight buzz in the air, now was a threatening force that pressed most of the oxygen out of your lungs. 

It was a sensation that would've sent most people running, but because of Gabriel, the king’s attempt to intimidate you was nothing.

“I’m sorry? Who do you think you’re talking with?” He spat, irritated by your stance. “You either offer something that’s worthy of me wasting my time on whatever your bloody problem is, or you leave. That’s  _ if _ you can make it past my demons.”

“Shove your threats, Crowley. This isn’t about me, or you, this is about Gabriel. He needs our help, I know it, I--”

“What makes you think I care about him in  _any_ way? You want to fix your stupid wingman? Do it yourself.” He stood, and walked past you, deciding to leave the room.

You quickly ran to step in front of him, to keep him from going. “You know about him,” it wasn’t a question, but a statement. 

There wasn’t a need for a response, Crowley’s expression clearly showed he was well aware of everything. “ _Another_ archangel goes dark and you think I’m not going to keep tabs on him?” He quipped, sounding both defensive and offended. “I needed to know if he wants my throne, and since he doesn’t seem to, it’s not my problem.”

“You fucking asshole.” There were tears in your eyes, had you known before, you would’ve forced him to help you show the Winchesters there was something wrong about Gabriel. 

Crowley owed you nothing, and you knew, but it was inevitable to misplace your anger after months of having to deal with Gabriel coming onto you almost every night. 

“Watch it, dove. Do not forget who you’re talking to,” he warned, his jaw clenched with anger. “You might not fear me but I could still kill you.”

The thought of it was reassuring. Maybe then you’d be free from Gabriel’s darkness. It was a somber thought, nothing had ever made you want to die. Until then, when the one person that you loved had been corrupted, and clearly intended to drag you down with him. 

Crowley’s face distorted as you lost yourself in thought, and you could see his anger simmering into something else. 

“What did he do to you?” He inquired. Had you known him any better, you could’ve sworn he looked concerned. 

His question lingered in the air, your brain slowly processing it as you fought back the tears that burned your eyes. 

“Not your problem, isn’t it?” You replied, too tired to keep trying, and finally coming to terms no one was ever going to help you. 

You walked around him, and darted towards the door. The only thing in your mind was to burn the hex bag to the ground, and allow the dark archangel to do whatever he intended to do with you. 

“Wait,” Crowley’s tone was urgent, and he gripped your arm to keep you from walking away. 

When you turned to face him, he pressed the palm of his hand against your chest. His hand burned, and it sent a jolt of energy through you. Something inside your head screamed to fight it, but no other part of you would cooperate. 

The feeling stopped, and Crowley finally took his hands off you. His hazel eyes were wide, his posture rigid and his jaw tight. You’d never seen him like that before, it was almost disturbing. 

“Wait in here, I need to gather some things before we go,” he instructed, making you more confused than you already were. 

“G-  _go_ ? Where?” You questioned, not letting him go to where he wanted. 

“To the Winchesters, love. We will tell them about Gabriel, and put a stop to this.” 

You blinked once, twice, completely taken aback by his sudden change of heart. “But… what? Why did you --”

“You were right, this goes beyond me and you, and even your pet archangel,” he explained, roaming around the room as he searched for what he needed.

“ _Stop_ , what does that mean?” You begged for an answer, growing scared and anxious.

He finally stopped, his back turned to you. Taking a deep breath, he glanced at you over his shoulder, his hazel eyes boring into you. 

“You’re being claimed by Asmodeus.”

 


	7. Chapter 7

A tense and grim silence had nested itself inside the bunker. Green and hazel eyes bored into you, a thousand questions and apologies swirling inside them. You hadn’t dared look at either of them just yet, feeling both embarrassed and upset about the entire situation. 

“So, this whole time,” Sam finally put an end to the quietness between everybody. “This whole time Gabriel has been… dark?” He asked, trying to process everything that Crowley had tried to explain as briefly as possible.

_ Gabriel, Asmodeus, grace, soul, spell, end of all days  _ had been his way to resume the last six months of your life.

You were eternally grateful he’d left behind most details about the things Gabriel had done to you. 

“Yes, moose. On top of that, he’s been dragging your friend along with him, under your same roof, and no one noticed a thing.” Crowley seemed angry, you figured he was nothing but preoccupied about his throne being taken from him. 

Both brothers threw a glance at each other, tightening their jaws as impotence began to gnaw their insides. 

“We’re sorry…” The youngest Winchester apologized for the umptheenth time, and you did nothing but nod, your eyes still focused on a dirty spot somewhere on the table before you.

“What I still don’t get--” Dean spoke up, after giving you his best apologetic eyes-- “is the whole deal with this spell. Why does Asmodeus needs her?”

Your eyes finally moved as you searched for Crowley’s, silently asking him the same.  He hadn’t told you much, yet, so you knew just as much as the Winchesters did. 

“Asmodeus is the one knight of hell that has never been quite satisfied with his power, he was Lucifer’s weakest creation, and holds an enormous grudge against him,” the king of hell began to explain, diving into the bag he’d brought with him.

“He’s known for experimenting with everything that he can get a hold of,” he continued to explain, his focus still on his bag. “Lately, I got the news he’d been playing with angel’s grace.”

Crowley kept quiet for a moment, and finally pulled out a book that he’d been staring at for far too long. “I didn’t pay him too much attention, knowing he’d been unsuccessful… until Gabriel.”

You stilled at his words, fearing Asmodeus had succeeded in completely corrupting the archangel. “Did he…” it was impossible for you to finish the sentence, too afraid of the answer.

“No.” A sigh of relief left your lungs, and you swore Sam and Dean felt it as well. “Not yet at least,” the demon finished, shuffling through pages of the text.

“Again, what does she have to do with this?” Dean pressed, feeling both impatient and annoyed to know close to nothing. 

“That’s where I’m going,” the king quipped back, letting the book fall in the middle of the table with a loud thud. “This --” he signaled to the page with an intricate sigil at the top of it-- “this is where  _she_ comes to play.”

“Demonic Grace Absorption?” Sam read out loud, trying his best to connect the dots. 

“It’s been an old wives tale going around since before I was created. Demons older than me believed that, if an angel’s grace is corrupted enough, it can be completely absorbed by a demon without killing them.” Crowley seemed tense, as if he was talking about something that shouldn't be talked about. 

“Supposedly, if a you corrupt the celestial being, and make them claim a soul in your name, the soul fuses with their grace, allowing it to stay in your vessel without destroying it.”

“Hence, making the demon more powerful,” the youngest Winchester deduced, feeling equally relieved and concerned of learning what they were dealing with.

“Bingo…” Crowley confirmed his conclusion, snapping his fingers and vanishing the book from view. “Now, I know the question of why her specifically is still in the air, which I think I know the answer too.”

“Well, what is it?” Dean inquired, his tone nearly as desperate as yours would’ve been if you’ve had the strength to ask. 

“For the angel, in this case archangel, to claim the soul, he needs her entire consent.”

“Which she will never give,” Sam jumped in your defense, but quickly turned to look at you. “ _Right_ ?”

“That, my dear moose, is a question to which even I don’t know the answer to.” The three set of eyes were soon over you, waiting for your reply, but Crowley didn’t allow you to. “There  _is_ a reason you dear lady friend hasn’t been able to completely vanish herself from Gabriel’s radar, and that’s because their bond goes beyond human comprehension.”

You were lost, not quite understanding what he meant. While it was true the feelings you harbored for Gabriel made you take some time to realize there was something wrong about him, you still didn’t know why  _something_ inside you couldn’t resist to him when he began to terrify you.

“Gabriel and you are, for a lack of a better word, mates.”

As soon as the words came out of Crowley’s mouth, you felt all the air in your lungs disappear. Your brain shut down, only allowing for you to try and remember how to breathe.

“Bullshit,” Dean spat, slamming both hands over the table. “There is no such thing as  _soulmates_ .”

“Fine, call it heartmates, or whatever you’d like. But it’s true and she knows it, Gabriel knows it, and apparently, so does Asmodeus. If we don’t put a stop to this, his sick experiment may work, and it will be the end,” Crowley snapped, an urgency on his voice that you’d only heard when Lucifer was pulled out of his cage. 

“And how do we do it, then?” You asked, finally speaking up after being quiet for most the conversation. “He’s always around,  _always_ . How are we supposed to do anything if he won’t leave me?” 

The tears in your eyes burned and itched, but you held them back, not wanting them to see you cry.

“We keep you away from him, let you soul heal, rest, and then we find a way to clean his grace.”

“How will we keep her from him? Didn’t you just say she can’t resist him?” The blonde Winchester asked, placing himself behind you and putting a reassuring hand on your shoulder. 

“Luckily for you --” Crowley sauntered over to you, and pulled the hex bag hanging around your neck for them to see-- “mother knows her spells. And so do I.” He placed a second hex bag next to Rowena’s, looking proud as you wondered what was the purpose of his.

“Hiya, boys.”

Gabriel’s voice sent a shiver through you, like a jolt of electricity running down your spine. A couple of tears ran down your face, if he’d heard, you were doomed. Still, you feared for their lives more than yours.

He was leaning against one of the book shelfs, carelessly skimming an old copy of the bible. You could see the brothers tense, and hesitating about reaching for their guns hidden under the table.

“Where’s (Y/N)?” He asked, his usual playfulness melting into an unsettling tone of possessiveness that only you could feel.  

Sam and Dean’s eyes widened, taken completely aback by Gabriel’s question, considering you were sitting right in the middle of them. 

“These stupid lumberjacks lost her, why do you think I’m here,” Crowley hurried to respond, suddenly acting bored and annoyed. “As if I was a bloody GPS.”

“She took off a couple days ago, Gabe.” Sam lied, quickly catching the king of hell’s game. “She hasn’t called, or texted. It isn’t like her.”

“Have  _you_ seen her?” His brother played along.

You froze in your spot, feeling nothing but fear, and the tears wetting your cheeks. Gabriel’s eyes never focused on you, it was then that you understood he couldn’t see you at all.

He put the book down, and walked over to the table. He was so close you could smell him, his scent was strong and pungent, nothing like how he used to smell before being corrupted.

“How long has she been gone?” His question lingered in the air for a long second, making you instantly uneasy. 

He didn’t seem to be buying their story, it wasn’t going to end well. 

“Three days,” both brothers said.

Thankfully, years of hunting had prepared the Winchesters to lie right through their teeth, without having to rehearse much. 

Gabriel’s eyes danced from one brother to the other, and occasionally, to Crowley. He took a step closer to the table, and pressed his palms against it. 

“I haven’t seen her in weeks,” he finally answered, looking deeply concerned. “I’ll look for her, keep me updated.” In a blink of an eye he was gone, and the air around you finally made its way back to your lungs. 

That same night, Sam and Dean packed your stuff, and drove you off to a cabin near Canada under Crowley’s orders. Nobody knew how long it would take your soul to heal, but it was step one, and it was the only plan they had.

  
  
  



	8. Chapter 8

You stared at a spot in the wall before you, letting your mind empty itself. It was all you’d been doing lately.

“What’s wrong?” Castiel asked, interrupting that moment of nothing.

It took awhile for you to focus your eyes from the spot to him, and you blinked twice, slowly, before remembering he’d asked you something. “Nothing,” you lied.

The angel squinted at you, and kept his stare firm for a couple of minutes, hoping to read into you. After a moment of silence, he seem to give up, and took a deep breath in.

“I brought you food, and letters from Sam and Dean.” He signaled towards the coffee table, standing awkwardly in the middle of the room. “Do you… need anything else?”

You thought about his question, allowing your eyes to wander once more. And yes, you _needed_ something, yet you didn’t dare say it out loud.

“Any news?”

Castiel took a deep breath, hesitating to reply. “He comes by the bunker, to check on our progress finding you.  He’s looking for you as well, so far he hasn’t gotten any closer.” A simple nod was your response, and Castiel could see you drifting off again. “You know how to reach me, I’ll be back in a couple of days, or if we find anything.”

Another nod from you and he was gone, only the flutter of his wings left behind. Had it been any other day, you would’ve darted towards the table, eager to read the boys letters and have something to eat.

Lately, it’d been harder and harder to even move from the bed. The last time the boys had transferred you to another location near the border was two weeks ago. There was an emptiness inside you that you hadn’t noticed was there since the last time you saw Gabriel.  It was _him_ that you needed.

Would you still want him as much if Crowley hadn’t revealed that you were mates? You didn’t know. But what you _did_ know, was that being with Gabriel was torture, but being without him was agony.

A couple of hours of nothing went by, until you finally found the strength to stand up and try to think about something else. You figured the boys’ letters would help.

Dean’s was always the funny one, he would joke about things that happened on their cases, and then give you a detailed report of which monsters they’d taken care of. He wasn’t very vocal about how much he missed you, or how worried he was. But you knew, you could see it in how much effort he put in trying to make you laugh, and in all the pictures he took the time to take, print and attach to his letters.

His brother’s letters on the other hand, were like literature. They reminded you of war letters sent from soldiers to their loved ones. He was all about expressing how much he missed you, how hard they were working on finding a way to fix everything, and every so often, he would shower you in apologies.

Despite how different they were, neither failed to bring you up every time you read them over and over again. Or at least they used to.

The longer you were alone, the emptier you felt. Things became much worse when the nightmares started.

They were always about Gabriel, about who he used to be, about who he was now. Some were memories, but more often you dreamed about him calling for you, whispering about putting you in places the Winchesters would never be able to find you.

That night was no different, you tossed and turned in bed non-stop. A thick layer of sweat covered your entire body, as you whimpered and tried your best to breathe properly. You could hear his voice, a faint whisper begging you to help him, to set him free. It wasn’t him, it wasn’t _your_ Gabriel. But that didn’t mean it hurt any less.

You knew it was a dream when you found yourself in the bunker, standing in the middle of an empty library. He was lurking in the shadows, staring and smiling at you. You felt his black eyes seeing right through you, penetrating deep into the core of your soul, making you feel helpless.

One moment he was within your eyesight, playing with your senses as he moved in an unnatural manner. Everytime you blinked, he was in a slightly different spot, causing you to flinch and wonder if it would be wise to run.

“You’ve been running too long, sweetheart.” His voice sent shivers down your spine, as if he was whispering them right in your ear, despite him being several feet away from you.

You blinked once more, and he was gone. Something got caught up in your throat, and your entire body tensed. You had to find him, but were too terrified to even try to move. It wasn’t until you felt his cold breath caressing the back of your neck.

When you turned, he was there, a mere inch away from your face. Before you had any chance to react, his hand went right through you, and you could feel his grip your heart. Fighting the pain as much as you could, your own hand held onto his wrist, trying to make him let you go.

“Please,” you begged, pulling his arm away from you.

But he didn’t bulge, and his grip kept getting tighter, while he held you in place with his other hand. “You’re mine,” he whispered, an emotion in his face that you’d never seen before.

By then you were screaming, holding his hand to pull it out your chest. You couldn’t believe yourself when he actually started to give in. Something snapped, air began to make its way inside your lungs. The relief caused you to wake up, and you opened your eyes to find darkness.

And Gabriel’s deep black eyes, while he crawled over you.

“Found ya’...” he said in a sickly sweet tone, turning your stomach into a knot.

A million questions rattled your brain, Castiel said that same afternoon he was nowhere near finding you, so _how_ did he? That single question was the only one to be answered, as you felt Crowley and Rowena’s hex bag in your hand.

Gabriel had tricked you, slithering nightmares powerful enough to make you rip the bags from around your neck.

“I missed you,” he claimed, equally soft and menacingly. He took a deep breath in as he trailed his nose along your neck, his lips ghosting over your sensitive skin.

You'd missed him too, _too much_ , even. But you didn't speak, equally terrified and trembling for him. He was caging you with his entire body, to keep you in place, his cold respirations all over your chest and neck. You tried to come up with something to do, or say, but nothing came to mind. Part of you was screaming at you to run, while the other only wanted _him_.

He bit your earlobe when you didn’t speak, growling as he demanded an answer from you. “Please, _please_ **_,_ ** let me help you,” was the only thing you could say.

“I said _I missed you,_ ” he demanded, raising his head to meet your eyes in the darkness. One of his hands moved towards your body, trailing up your leg and hip, until he reached your neck. “Tell me you missed me, too.” His other hand made its way inside your shirt, lightly scratching your belly with his fingernails. Gabriel rolled his hips against you, causing your body to react.

“Gabriel...” you choked up, holding your breath once more.

The hand in your shirt turned and ran down to your sweatpants, where he played with the elastic seam, pulling it and letting it snapback. “Just say it, I know you did, sugar.” He muttered the words over your chest, his teeth scratching patterns in your skin, “I’ll reward you.”

That pushed a button you didn’t know you had, the implication that he was going to touch you if you said what he wanted made your blood boil in the best of ways. “I… I missed you.”

The next moment, his hand finally made its way inside your panties. His fingers ran up and down your folds, teasing to make their way inside you. “Good girl.” You shivered under his touch, and his praise, still fighting not to get yourself lost in him.

Whatever fear you had was momentarily gone, but you couldn’t help feeling torn. It wasn’t right, this wasn’t Gabriel. Whatever Asmodeus had done to him had changed him, to a point where you no longer knew the person touching you. Still, you couldn’t help aching for him, needing him. You’d loved the archangel since the moment you met him, _and_ he was your mate, it was impossible to resist him.

“I gotta say, though--” he stopped, moving his hand from your core, and bringing it up to his mouth to lick his fingers-- “I’m kinda mad at you, sweetheart.” The eeriness in his tone alarmed you, making your chest feel tight. You squirmed in place, wondering what he was going to do. “You ran from me, you hid,” Gabriel stated, his jaw clenched and his body suddenly stiff. “That _really_ hurt my feelings.”

“I’m sorry, I--” You barely managed to whimper, for he shoved his fingers back into you with ease.

It was a torturous kind of pleasure, where he brought you to the edge and left you hanging there, making you beg for more. “You _will_ be. I need you to understand that you’re mine, that you can’t run away from me.” He scissored his fingers inside you, while circling your clitoris with his thumb as he spoke. “Even if it takes me. _All. Night. Long._ ”

He retreated his hand from your panties once more, and crawled down the mattress. Gabriel’s hands were glued to your body as he did, fingers hooking on the seam of your pants to pull them down along with your underwear.

You couldn’t see him in the dark, but you knew what he was doing when he passed his tongue down and up your core, sucking your sensitive nub once his mouth got there. He licked and penetrated you with his tongue, and it wasn’t long until he began using his hands. His left hand gripped your leg, so tightly his fingertips left bruises in your thigh.

Gabriel ate you up like he never had, as if he was starved for you. Your hips raised from the mattress, and he used his free arm to pin you down against it. “ _Stay still_ , this isn’t for you,” he clarified, but it wasn’t until you were close to an orgasm that you understood his words.

He stopped before he could tip you over the edge, causing you to whine. “You really think I’m letting you finish after what you did?” He laughed, licking his lips and making his way over you again. “Nu-uh, sweetness. _You_ need to feel what I felt.”

His nose touched yours, and he smiled. For a moment, you saw in his eyes who he once was; the archangel that had helped you stop the apocalypse, the only one that cared for humanity, for you.

It made you want to cry, seeing his grace corrupted, knowing he was being used for a greater evil. Gabriel was everything, and you never once told him, whether by your own stubbornness or the life you’d shared with him.

All the emotions swirling inside you took over, and you couldn’t help raising your head from the mattress, in an attempt to press your lips against his.

 


End file.
